(That's) Uh, Newspaper?(Tastic)

Faerie Gazette

 

December 4, 2012.

Hello, all my faithful, long-time readers! It's your favorite editor Jessie yet again! Wondering the news for today? Well, I have a surprise for all of you! We interveiwed Bilbo Baggins about his Unexpected Journey! The first question was "Bilbo, what were your thoughts when all the dwarves appeared at your doorstep?"

"Well," he had said, "I was a little taken back by the lot of them. What would you be thinking if 13 midgets came to your house all of the sudden?!" I had to laugh at that!

What were your thoughts about being called a "burglar" and "theif" repetedly?

He had to think about his answer before replying. "Well, I didn't like it. I never liked stealing anything from anyone. It had gone against everything I was taught and had learned. But in the end I started to enjoy the thrill a little..."

What was the scariest part of your journey?

"Do I even have to answer this? EVERYTHING was scary. There were so many things I'd never seen before... But I was mostly scared that I'd never get to see my little hobbit-hole again. Or have tea-time. That was Terrible! Almost as bad as talking to Smaug... That was pretty bad and scary and... Just really scary, okay? I don't want to talk anymore. Sorry, it's just too scary!"

 

Well there's my short little installment for today's paper. Next interview we'll be talking to either Beorn or Bard, so keep on reading!

 

Until next time,

 

Jessie

 

That's FanatsyTastic.

Fantastic.

You know... I'm reading The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. It's a good fantasy book... With references from other myths and whatnot... Like dwarves and goblins and trolls, et cetera. Our English teacher wants us to compare the creatures in this book with the same creatures in other books... (Which doesn't seen fun but, hey, that's just me!) Harry Potter would probably be a good reference, but in all honesty, I strongly dislike those books. I'll use those references anyways, though.

 

First off, there's a wizard. With a big white beard and everything! Gandalf (said wizard) reminds me of Merlin, from... The King Arthur story. Tall, old, beard, magic. (kind of scatter-brained...) But Gandalf keeps company with a hobbit and dwarves. Merlin's with Arthur and lancelot and whatnot.

 

Then there's the dwarves. Short (height-wise and temper), kind of pudgy, huge beards, old (mostly), and they like underground and treasure. These dwarves remind me of the ones from the Eragon series. They live in tunnels... And have treasure... And are short... And dislike dragons, for the most part.

 

And there's also Smaug, the big, evil dragon. I've read SO MANY stories with evil dragons, it's not even funny. When I think of dragons, the first one I tend to think of is Dragon, from Shrek. You know... She has those adorable little donkey-dragons with Donkey... But that's besides the point. She's not evil, but that one dragon (I think a guy named St. George killed him...?) in that one story steals treasure and sheep and demands fair maidens from the towns he terrorizes... Yay evil dragons!

 

There's also Beorn, a half bear, half man crature. He reminds me of a werewolf... The one from London! I like Beorn, but then again I think all shapeshifters are pretty legit.

 

There's also the elves! They always remind me of the elves from Eragon. They also live in the woods... and are magical. I wish I was an elf! It'd be cool to live in the woods and have animals listen to you and actually understand you.

 

Three Little Pixies and the Big Bad Mr. Fox

So, if you didn't already know...
My best friend Sara and I did our last blog together, since my computer didn't like me! Here it is: http://dothwhatshehadsaid.blogspot.com/2012/11/by-sara-and-jessie-d.html.
Click on it, I know you want to!

Anyways, we're supposed to talk about it's many different variations... Like, the coolest, the weirdest, most interesting, et cetera.

Okay... the weirdest one, well what I think is weird, is the one called "The Fox and the Pixies." It's just. . . odd. But it does have a lot in common with the three little pigs... There are three pixies and one fox. Sound familiar? But that's about the only similarities... The last living pixie charms the fox to go into a box, and then he dies in there. Kind of disturbing, if you ask me.

The one I thought was pretty cool was "The Fox and the Geese." It was in a poem form.. Like you know, every other line rhymed. It was cool... But also very odd. The three geese's mother died and was like "Watch out for that Mr. Fox! Build strong houses!" The first goose used a box for a house and got eaten. And then the second one built her house out of bricks. But alas, she thatched the roof out of straw and the fox burned it and then he ate her. The last goose made a brick house with a tile roof.. And then she killed the fox in a butter churn. 

Nice endings, eh?

Cites: http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type0124.html

UnWholly... What Pictures Represent it??

As of now, I'm reading UnWholly... It's author is Neal Shusterman. I am going to post some pictures I think really... capture its essence.

This one... I just think it captures everything. The Unwind trilogy's covers look sort of like this... And it's pretty myserious, just like the books. (http://www.hispanicallyspeakingnews.com/uploads/images/article-images/kirlian-fingerprints.jpeg)

 

 

This is human DNA. In UnWholly and Unwind, the numerous scientists are for all intensive purposes, splicing and combining DNA.

(http://blogs-images.forbes.com/daviddisalvo/files/2011/11/DNA.jpg)

 

This picture speaks for itself. The girl is being unwound. I believe that this describes the book because, well, it's about being unwound. And the white dove.. Everyone thinks unwinding is good, hence the bird.

(http://www.artshole.co.uk/arts/artists/Steve%20Galloway/Unwinding..JPG)

 

This gif represents the book because the one man, let's call him an unwind, is running away from the massive group of people. Let's call them Juvies. So, the unwind is running from the Juvies. Sounds just like the book.

(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m85e0xJ6CZ1rqfhi2o1_500.gif)

 

This gif is someone crying. According to the book, unwinding is sad for everyone, even the parents, who come to regret their decision in the end.

(http://5.mshcdn.com/wp-content/gallery/10-funniest-gif-trends-of-2011/tumblr_left6jQebn1qf8yek.gif)

This picture represents what I would do to my parents if they chose to unwind me.

(https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN1IScbG2v4Q11tr2YNY_04R3av25X6-M1O7xtkdpoiV3e2vRnnubyi6x0X1Xnfn17HSa_Lx6xCFkvk1kcFSXsZ_EMJxzVxm_wgeF4aS1zl1iiBssIuqnYLUlLL2D4DWM9VsNscSP15Sk/s1600/JasonPunchesKen.jpg)

 









If I had to Make a God...

So our English teacher had us come up with a god/goddess. Here's mine! :D

 

1. What is his/her name?

 

Her name is Despina.

2. What is he/she the god/goddess of?

She is the goddess of the winds and storms.

3. What is his/her sacred animal?

The horse is her sacred animal- it's fast like the wind she controls and its hooves sound like rolling thunder.

4. Does he/she fight? If no, then why not? If yes, then what is his/her favorite weapon?

Yes, she fights and she's pretty good at it! Her favorite weapon is her bow, gathered from the clouds themselves and fashioned into the shape of a bow. Her arrows are made of white-hot lighting.

5. What does he/she look like? Describe him/her and use a picture if desired.

She can change her appearance like any other god, but she prefers to look like a young woman with long, silky, dark hair and piercing gray eyes. She's really tall and athletic.

6.       What does he/she do to those who anger him/her?

She strikes them down with her arrows, or sends a tornado after them.

7. Come up with a short myth (story) about your god or goddess.

Despina is overlooked much in mythology. She was born when the moon first shone on the Earth. All cultures have a version of her, she rules over different things, but her name is always Despina. Her father is said to be the moon and her mother is Earth.

Despina is loved by many. She is usually a goddess that forgives puny mortals for their indecencies, unlike other Greek gods (like Hera...). But that is only usually. There was this one hero, Vlasis. Despina was fond of this young man. That was, until his last quest. King Minos sent him to retrieve Arion, a mythical horse, for his breeding stock. Despina was okay with this; Vlasis would not hurt a defenseless animal. Despina was wrong. When Vlasis found Arion, instead of trapping him in a net like she had assumed he would, Vlasis shot the horse with an arrow given to Vlasis by Despina herself. This angered her greatly. She transformed into a giant rabid wolf and tore Vlasis into pieces as her revenge. That was the last time anyone ever messed with Despina's favorite horse.

That's Me for Ya!

Hey everybody! I'm Jessie. I'm the kinda girl who likes her women like she likes her coffee- I don't like coffee. But anyways, I'm the kind of girl who likes jokes. A lot. I also have a very dry sense of humor. I adore messing with people, you know, jokes and stuff. Most people dont know when I'm kidding around, which sucks.

I have one major pet peeve- text lingo. Like. . . if someone ever texted me and said "OMG grl u wrnt in class where were u?!?!?!?? LOL" That ticks me off royally.

I also like reading. I like books. A lot. Especially fiction books. . . Like Rick Riordan's work. Or James Patterson. People like those. I'll ready anything that strikes my fancy. I love The Hunger Games and its sequels.

Let's see. . . I love The Walking Dead, NCIS, Doctor Who is okay. I love Monk. I'll watch anything. . . ESPECIALLY WALKING DEAD. Just sayin'. I love old cartoons. . . Like Teen Titans and stuff they never show anymore.
Anyways, we're about to read the Odyssey. I've already read it, but I'm excited! It gets very boring at times however... Gah, memories!